


Your Ghost

by PercyJacksonNerd20



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types, Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan, The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan, The Trials of Apollo - Rick Riordan
Genre: Depressed Nico di Angelo, Flashbacks, Fluff and Angst, Heavy Angst, M/M, Nico di Angelo has PTSD, Nico di Angelo/Will Solace Fluff, Pain, Panic Attacks, Sad Nico di Angelo, Will Solace Ghost, solangelo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-19
Updated: 2021-03-19
Packaged: 2021-03-28 16:48:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,559
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30142581
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PercyJacksonNerd20/pseuds/PercyJacksonNerd20
Summary: Life is much darker, now. Without the sun, without it's warmth and light, Nico doesn't know how to carry on. He sits in the corner, tears streaming down his face. He doesn't feel anything anymore. He feels completely paralyzed in his own sorrow and darkness. He feels lost and empty. How can he go on? How can he face the darkness without his sun?
Relationships: Nico di Angelo/Will Solace
Comments: 4
Kudos: 19





	Your Ghost

**Author's Note:**

> *Warning*  
> This one.... this one is a heart wrenching. 
> 
> This storyline popped into my head while I was listening to the song "Dancing with Your Ghost" by Sasha Sloan and "Paralyzed" by NF.
> 
> Let me know what you guys think. This is the first time I'm writing something like this. It was a little out of my element. Soooo... yeah. Honest opinions and thoughts are encouraged! :)

### Your Ghost

The darkness. It surrounded Nico.  
He was alone. He was afraid. But he didn’t try to fight it. Not after what happened.  
He deserved it. He deserved to drown in the darkness of the shadows.  
Nico sat in the corner of his cabin clutching his knees as he sobbed.  
He could hear his friends outside his cabin, begging him to come out. They kept knocking on the door and hollering his name.  
Nico couldn’t do it. He couldn’t face them. Not like this. Not now. Probably not ever.  
He looked to his left. On his bunk sat the MP3 player Will gave him for his birthday last year.  
Nico let go of his knees and crawled over to the bed. He picked up the MP3 player with shaking hands, holding back another sob, and put his earbuds in his ears. He pressed play and drowned out the sounds around him.  
The first song to play was the first song Will ever sang to him. It was called “Soldier” by Before We Exit.  
This was the song Will sang to him on their first date.  
Nico replayed that night in his head.  
They were on the beach. It was right after sunset. They were having a picnic.  
_"So, um, I heard a song the other day, and it kinda reminded me of you."_ Will had said to Nico.  
Will's voice. It was amazing. It was like an angel's voice. Nico was mesmerized. He was lost in Will's voice.  
After Will had finished singing his song, he forced Nico to look into his eyes.  
That's when Nico grabbed Will by his hoodie and kissed him.  
That night, they stayed up and sat on the Hades cabin roof watching the sunrise.  
That was the same song that Will always played to remind Nico that Will was always there for him.  
Nico broke once again. This time, he didn’t just sob. He scream-cried. He hollered as tears streamed down his face.  
He threw a pillow across the room.  
It hit a small statue, knocking it off the table, and shattering it on the floor.  
The anger swirled inside his chest, making it hard to breathe.  
Nico remembered the counting and breathing exercises Will taught him when dealing with his panic attacks.  
Nico had another flashback  
_"Breathe in through your nose for a count of four. Hold for a count of five. And breathe out slowly through your mouth. Good."_ Will would say, helping Nico through his PTSD panic attacks.  
Nico did his breathing exercises and finally got his breathing under control. The storm inside his chest calmed. All that was left was numbness. All that was left was emptiness.  
Nico sat there, staring into the darkness. His face emotionless. His knees drawn to his chest in a last stitch effort to protect himself from the pain, the guilt, the anger. But it was too late.  
The next song to play was “Dancing with Your Ghost” by Sasha Sloan.  
Silent tears streamed down his face as he sat there listening to the song.  
He closed his eyes. The tears started falling faster.  
  
_How do I love  
How do I love again?  
How do I trust  
How do I trust again?_  
  
Those lines stabbed Nico in the heart.  
Suddenly it was hard to draw in a breath. Nico clutched his chest and gasped for air as he started sobbing audibly again.  
  
_I stay up all night  
Tell myself I'm alright  
Baby, you're just harder to see than most  
I put the record on  
Wait 'til I hear our song  
Every night I'm dancing with your ghost  
Every night I'm dancing with your ghost  
  
Never got the chance  
To say a last goodbye  
I gotta move on  
But it hurts to try_  
  
After that verse, Nico clutched his ears and scream-cried once more.  
Then, he felt something touch his shoulder.  
“What’s the matter, Death Boy? Miss me?”  
Nico took out his earbuds.  
The voice. It couldn’t be… Could it?  
Nico’s vision was blurred due to the tears in his eyes. But he could make out the figure in front of him just fine.  
The figure wore a yellow cabin 7 hoodie. His blue eyes stared into Nico’s brown ones. His smile was soft and gentle. Around him, a warm yellow glow pulsed.  
“W--Will?” Nico stuttered. “You can’t… this isn’t possible.”  
Will reached out and touched Nico’s cheek.  
“Of course, it is. You’re the Ghost King after all. _You’re_ the one that summoned me here.” Will said.  
Nico started weeping.  
“I don’t want you to go! You can’t leave me here. I can’t… I can’t do this without you, Will!”  
“Nico, you can, and you _will_ keep going. Remember what I used to tell you? ‘I will always be here for you.’ That statement is true even when I’m gone. You are stronger than you realize. You just have to open your eyes. You have to give yourself more credit.” Will said.  
Nico took Will’s hand.  
“I’m so sorry. I’m sorry I couldn’t…..” his voice cracked, “couldn’t save you.”  
Will shook his head and squeezed Nico's hand.  
“You had other problems. You saved the camp yet again. Like you used to tell me when I would lose a patient, ‘you can’t always save everyone.’ If you tried to save me, the camp wouldn’t be here. You did what you had to do.”  
“ _You’re_ the one I should’ve saved! You are my everything. I can’t even face the sun anymore. You’re all I see. You’re all I think about. I should’ve never let you go out in the field. If I hadn’t--”  
“If you hadn’t, I wouldn’t have been able to save as many lives as I did. You would’ve been distracted. And the camp would've been destroyed. What happened was fate. There is no changing it now. You have to learn to accept it.” Will said in a calm tone.  
“If I had been there with you, I could’ve stopped that monster from impaling you. I could’ve killed it. Hell, I could’ve shadow traveled you to safety! Instead… I was too focused on something else. How am I supposed to live with the fact that I basically caused your death? First Bianca. Now you… I’ve lost the most important people in my life. I’m all alone. _Again_.”  
Dancing with Your Ghost was still playing in the background.  
Nico looked off to the side, at the MP3 player.  
“I didn’t even… I didn’t even get to tell you how much I love you.” Nico said. The tears welling up again. “I didn’t even get to say goodbye.”  
“You don’t have to. Because I know.” Will cupped his boyfriend’s face. “Nico. You have to live for me. You have to go out and enjoy the sun every now and then. You have to go to our favorite places. I want you to enjoy the sunsets. I want you to sit in the strawberry fields under the big tree like we used to. I just want you to relish life. Can you do that? For me?”  
Nico’s eyes burned.  
“I…. I can’t. I wouldn’t have even lived this long if it weren’t for you. How do you expect me to just move on?!” Nico said.  
Anger welled in his chest.  
How could Will ask this of him?  
Nico looked into Will’s blue eyes and the anger quickly melted. He saw the sadness in his boyfriend's eyes.  
“I have to believe you will move on. Because if you don’t, how can _I_?”  
That’s when Nico realized it. Will didn’t want to move on. If he had a choice, he would be standing right here next to Nico. He realized what Will was saying. “You’re not going to choose to be reborn, are you?”  
Will looked down and shook his head.  
“No.” he looked up at Nico and smiled. “Because I will be waiting for someone. This someone... He's special. He's my whole world.”  
Nico smiled slightly through his tears.  
“I hate you.” he said through sniffles.  
Will smiled.  
“I think both you and I know differently.” he said winking. “I love you, Death Boy. Never forget it, okay?”  
Will put his forehead to Nico’s.  
Tears streamed from both of their eyes.  
“I… I love you, too, Sunshine.” Nico whispered.  
Will kissed Nico on the lips for the last time and then faded away, smiling at Nico.  
Nico leaned his head back and rested it against the wall as he stared absently at the ceiling. A lump formed in his throat as he pushed back his tears.  
Somehow he knew he was going to be okay.  
Someday, Nico would be reunited with his sunshine. Until then, he would have to push through. He would have to take one day at a time. And that’s what he planned on doing. Not only for himself, but for Will.  
Will expected him to carry on. Will expected him to live every day to the fullest. And by the gods, he was going to do it. It was his boyfriend’s dying request. Nico would be damned if he didn't follow his boyfriend's last request.  
“I swear on the river Styx, Will, that I will see you again, one day. Until then, I promise to try to live my life the way you would want me to.” he croaked. “I love you, my sunshine.”  



End file.
